Not as I pictured it

A couple of years ago when I was successfully losing weight I had to break down and buy new undies. This time around I've been refusing to buy any new clothing, including any intimate apparel- I was forcing myself to make do with the clothing that I had previously. Or at least I did until yesterday. I got back my tax refund check and decided to splurge on some new panties.

For the Grey's Anatomy fans - think back to the episode where we saw Callie in her hidden hospital basement room (I still don't understand why she was living in that hole in the wall when she is rich!). She was dancing in her undies...specifically she was dancing while wearing boyshorts panties. Ever since I saw that episode I have wanted some boyshorts. And even though I know I'm a lot bigger than she is, I wanted to look like her in my boyshorts - or at least a chunkier version of her. I have to say....I love my boyshorts! They are so comfortable!

But I look nothing like Callie or even a chunkier Callie!!!

(to refesh your memory - here's a short video. Not the best I could find, but it was the only one with the actual song "The Mating Game" on it and I love that song!)

Uh, Oh....

The Chihuahua ate the guinea pig and then threw up!

I'm not sure when it happened, but I must have eaten something with a LOT of sodium in it because my ankles were HUGE this morning! And my scale noticed those thick ankles by showing a slight gain this morning - you got it... .2!

Am I upset? Nope
Am I worried? Nope
Am I going to squash that .2 gain? Hell yes!


I love Wednesdays!

I'm A Whinner....ummm....I mean I'm A Winner!!

Woohoo! Down 2.6 lbs this week. Ok, the Woohoo! was a little sarcastic, but I actually am happy....more like a woohoo with less volume (woohoo). This loss officially put me at the 70 lb mark so that's good.

1 guinea pig + 1 ostrich egg + 1 chihuahua + 1 elephant penis = 70 lbs.

I have my appointment with my endocrinologist the first week of May and with any luck I will get the official news that my Graves Disease is in remission. Keeping my fingers crossed! I'd love to get off the meds and maybe my thyroid will revert back to normal instead of it's current hypo status. Since I had no cable or Internet this weekend, and I had to stick by the house "just in case" the cable company could come out early I spent most of my weekend cleaning. And in the process of cleaning I not only shredded all my bank statements from the 80's but I found my old WW booklets from 2003-2004 (not to mention the one from Jan 2005 - Feb 2005, the one from June 2005 - August 2005 and the one from May 2006 - July 2006!).

Below is my loss/gains between 2/12/04 and 4/17/04:

-4.4
-2.6
-1.2
-2.2
-1.8
-3.4
-5.2
-3.8
- .8 (what happened to me that week I have to wonder!)

Do you notice anything missing from those numbers (besides the fact that I didn't have a gain)???

That stupid .2 that seems to haunt me these days!

Just How Lost Was I?

I came home Thursday to find that my internet and TV were both out! Thursday is my favorite TV night, and I can't seem to focus on anything when I don't at least have background noise from the TV going on. And not being about to get on the internet...well, you might as well have broken all my fingers! I tried reading with the radio as background noise and I tried sleeping with the radio as background noise. But the only station I could get was one that played songs from the 70's and I found myself trying to remember words and singing along with the songs instead of reading/sleeping. The first appointment opening the cable company had was for this morning between 10-12 (of course, they didn't make it here until 2:15). It turns out that they accidently disconnected my service instead of my neighbors (this is the 3rd time that has happened since I've bought my townhouse). But after 3-1/2 days without TV or internet I'm back up and running!

I log in my calories & exercise online so I'm days behind and at this point I'm hoping that I haven't gone over any of the days that I was without a computer. I should be ok, but it is so easy to get off track when you do things one way and then are suddenly forced to go back to the old fashioned way - it's so easy to forget to write down the unexpected/unplanned items (like that extra package of oatmeal I ate on Friday because I was still hungry at 10...better write that one down right now!!). But the scales are looking good so far (good, not great!) so I'm assuming that I stayed within my calorie range.

Pulled from Sparkpeople

Do You Suffer from Diet Rage?

Rules of the Road to Help You Reach Your Destination

-- By Mike Kramer, Staff Writer

After slowing down to an unexplained stop for the 147th time in the space of 2 miles, I decided that I hated the world. Surrounding me were an ocean of maddening brake lights, rain pelting the windshield and thousands of tons of steel and fiberglass flung around by a clueless pack of selfish morons who obviously didn’t know the first thing about driving!!

It was in serious danger of ruining my whole day.

Is there anything more frustrating than being bogged down in traffic? Most all of us have been there before. That discouraged, fed up feeling that just makes us want to throw up our hands in surrender or lay them on the horn.

Thankfully, I stopped muttering helplessly and started thinking instead. And I realized that I often witness another type of "road rage" – the frustration that builds on the road to weight loss: Diet Rage.

Think about your dieting history. Does it give you the same feeling as an exasperating traffic jam? You never quite get where you want to go as fast as you want to get there. You get aggravated, yell (usually at yourself), and see people in other lanes going faster than you (how do they DO that?!), and it usually ends up ruining your day.

Here’s the lesson: Getting frustrated with your diet does no more good than getting frustrated in traffic. It just makes you unhappy, unsuccessful and tense.

By the time I got to work (it was a long commute), I noticed a lot of things that we, as weight loss veterans, can learn from traffic jams. Next time you start to feel frustrated with your weight loss progress, keep these "lessons of the road" in mind:

• Pay less attention to how much further you have to travel. Stop asking yourself "are we there yet?" You’ll get there when you get there. Instead, look at the scenery, think about life, carry on a conversation, sing along with the radio, or simply be thankful for how far you’ve come.
  
• The journey is always more fun with a passenger. Have you asked anyone along for the ride?
  
• You know the route you need to take to reach your weight loss goals. It’s already mapped out. As long as you stay pointed in the right direction, you’ll get there. Even in the worst traffic jams, you still get to your destination at some point. It’s the same way with dieting – just a matter of time. It may take longer than you first expected, but you will get there.
  
• There will always be periods of stopping and starting. It’s something that you should just anticipate and allow for. No use getting upset or stressed about not making progress. It’s a normal part of the journey.
  
• Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go with the flow of what’s going on around you. Life can present some situations that you really can’t do anything about. When that happens, staying straight and steady – doing the best that you can – will keep you on track and sane. In traffic, impatient people stop, change lanes, weave in and out of other cars, driving themselves and everyone else crazy – and in the end, usually don’t get any farther along than you do by staying put and going with the flow.
  
• Shortcuts never work.
  
• Driving too fast is dangerous. That’s why they call it "crash" dieting. Slow down, take what life gives you, and make sure you arrive at your destination in good health.

I finally did get to my destination after all. Hands were pried away from the steering wheel, teeth were unclenched, and a few aspirin were popped. Of course, people in the cars around me probably had a good laugh at my arm-waving and soundless yelling. Funny how we can lose our senses when faced with something that frustrates us, whether it’s traffic or our diets.

Thanks to these insights, my story had a happy ending. Hopefully, remembering these rules will help you reach your destination sooner – and more content – than you expected.

I'm Back!

OK, I'm happy to report that it was early PMS! I've probably had one of the most consistent menstrual cycle in the whole world all of my life. It never effected my weight. It never effected my moods. Then about two years ago my periods stopped (I thought "Yea! I'm finally going through menopause!") and I started getting moody. It turned out that the Graves Disease was playing tricks on my body and wrecking havoc on me. Since being on meds I've resorted back to my old ways until this month. I have my 4 month follow visit early May, so I'll check with my doctor to see if this could be another result of the Graves - or a result of the meds that I'm taking (which hopefully I will be able to discontinue next month!)

Now, it's with great sadness that I have to report a .2 lb gain. I'm not too worried about it because I know that I stuck with my program last week. I'd feel better if my ankles were swollen because then I could blame it on fluid, but no such luck. Oh, well! There's always next week.

And on a totally different note - I get emails from Prevention daily. Yesterday I got one with a link to some games that are supposed to keep your mind young. I was so bad at them! And I'm addicted to them even though I'm bad at them!! So, I'm going to go play some more. Who knows - maybe if I play enough I'll actually get the hang of them!

Melancholy

I hope I'm going through an early PMS.

• Everything thing someone says to me almost brings me to tears - if in fact it doesn't bring me to tears. I know they don't mean things the way I'm taking them. Just for today, I feel like I don't count.
• Everything that someone says to someone else that could possibly be construed as a slight towards me is being taken as such - even if in my saner moments I would realize that they don't mean it that way. Just for today, I don't think they think about me at all.
• Everything indicates that I am invisible to the majority of the people out in places where I continuously try to belong. Just for today, I just don't know why I bother.

It boils down to this....

I am nobody today.

Maybe I'll be someone tomorrow.

A Fat Rant.

A video by Joy Nash.

Zittity Do Da

As you might be able to establish from the title...today's topic is Zit's!!!

I have one!!!

It's huge!!!!

Why is it fair that at my age I have a zit the size of Montana on my face??? I think it's punishment for living the first 30 years of my life relatively zitless. But when you think about it, haven't I been punished enough because I've had to deal with being overweight all my life? (Except those few months in 1979 of course...ahhh, the memories.)

I can't wait to see what my 50's are going to bring....30's brought out the zits and my 40's saw the emergence of the little black hairs that sprout on my chin overnight. At this point I'm leaning towards my teeth spontaneously falling out or a new embarrassing Georgia law named Melissa’s Law about breasts having to be on leashes if they droop too far or swing too wide.

I love Mondays!

Today was a new day! I took all my goodies into work and with the exception of the candy (keep in mind, I spent $100+ on the candy for the whole office so there was quite a bit of it) and 4 sugar cookies all the food was gone by 10 this morning! Both the food for the office and the bunny bags for the girls were big hits!!

And the office is back to normal - I actually managed to get some of my work done for a change!!! And I got even more done since I was so busy venting in my last post that I completely forgot to change my clock back so I ended up getting up at 3 instead of 4.

Program wise, I've done great today. Water, food and exercise - all accounted for and I feel good that I'm back in focus. WI is tomorrow. I'm still playing the "I'm going to be ticked no matter what" ticket, but I'm actually looking forward to getting it over with.

What A Week!

My weekend will be over in less than 4 hours and I'm already exhausted! One of the girls was out of the office last week - end of the month, end of the quarter - holy crap! What a time to take a week off!! We had known about this for over 2 months. For over 2 months I tried to get her to show me some of the things that she does so that I could help out. For over 2 months she came up with excuse after excuse not to show me. Then the last week prior to her vacation she decided to show me the commissions end of it - ONCE!!! Each frigging order is different, there was no way that I could learn enough to feel comfortable with one run through. Then on the next to the last day, she decided to show me how to drop orders...of course she didn't have any examples so we "pretended" to have an order and she TALKED me through the steps. And on the last day - at 4:00 she showed me how to place replacement orders - I use the term show losely because she was going so fast that I know I missed half of it (luckily, a few months ago I happened to find some instructions with screen shots that the vendor had printed up so I feel very comfortable on this step thanks to those instructions).

Monday I went in at my normal time (I techinically work from 8:30-5, but I've always started work by 7:15). The day was a little hectic, but I managed to keep up. The problem was that I knew that each day closer to the end of the week there would be more orders to be installed, dropped or incoming because all the reps want to get paid their quarterly bonus. So Tuesday I went in at 6:30. I was right about the week getting worse - all hell broke lose. The girl that was completing the leasing worksheets (which I would have felt comfortable doing even though I haven't been trained on it - very similiar to the proceedure I used at my other company and the same leasing company) and placing the orders kept asking me questions on how to do this or that (keep in mind I have no training on placing the orders at all!). Or she would ask something like "do we need to order XYZ for this company?" - which wasn't a problem EXCEPT she didn't tell me who "this" company was and she didn't bring the file so I had no idea who or what she was talking about. (She's been doing that job for 4 years BTW.) So the rest of the week, I was at my desk by 5:30-5:45. I wasn't taking my lunch break (a couple of days I did walk to the breakroom, get my salad out of the fridge and eat my salad as I walked back to my desk). Instead of going to the bathroom every hour the way I normally do because I drink so much water I found that I was going to the restroom once, maybe twice during the day because 1) I wasn't drinking as much water - I just didn't seem to have the time and 2) when I did have the urge to pee I was holding it because I kept getting interrupted or I kept remembering something else I had to do. When I came home I was so tired that I was either going straight to bed, or I was fixing something quick in the microwave. Friday finally came. Yea!!! I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a day end!!! Of course, one of the girls in the office wanted me to come in Saturday because she wanted to work but she didn't want to have to work alone. Not going to happen!!!

So that was my week last week. Why am I still exhaused you ask? Because I realized that next week is Easter which meant that I needed to get my bunny bags filled, and it means that I had to make my sugar cookies, M&M cookies, carrot muffins and my strawberry and peach danishes to take into work tomorrow! So yesterday was a day for shopping (I had to go to three different grocery stores before I found all of the items I needed) and I went to WalMart, Target, CVS and Walgreens to get the Easter candy for the bunny bags (one of the girls in the office doesn't like chocolate....Gads!! But she loves Twix bars so I was trying to find some Twix bars in Easter wrapping. I finally found them at Walgreens (the last place I stopped). And then I remembered that I wanted to get Skittles for one of my favorite service techs because they are his favorite so I had to go back to CVS since Walgreens didn't have them. Then it was over to the fabric store to get some "Easterly" ribbon to go on the basket (I decided at the last minute to get enough candy to put a big basket in the breakroom for everyone). I finally got everything that I could possibly need (or so I thought). After arriving back home I started sanitizing the kitchen (wipe down all the counters, sweep & mop the kitchen floor. At that point I realized that I forgot to get gloves and hairnets (I know it sounds silly, but when I'm cooking for people that aren't family or close friends I always wear gloves just like the ones they wear at Subway, and so that there is absolutely no way that any hairs can fall into the food I wear a hairnet and I buy at new t-shirt to wear. I think that is very considerate of me, don't you??) And I also realized that I didn't have enough containers. So it was back on the road. Then it was time to start. Last night I made the M&M cookies and baked them. And I made up the dough for the sugar cookies (they have to chill overnight).

Today I've spent the day doing laundry, making the carrot muffins, rolling, cutting out and baking the sugar cookies and then after a little break (where I ran up to the store again for another bag of candy since I didn't quite have enough) I came back to finish off the menu - the danishes. This would have been much quicker, but for some reason I had my mind set that they had to be shaped like Easter eggs. After I'd lay down the bottom layers I cut out the top layer and then cut out the center of that layer, spread the cream cheese mixture, dollop the strawberry or peach filling, and then....decision time - is this the pointy end of the top egg layers or the rounded bottom end???? With the center cut out of it, it made it really flimsy and by the time I started to place it on top it would start to wobble. Towards the end I swear I was just throwing the damn things down and where ever it landed was where it was going to stay!!!

I finished! Everything looks good. And yes, everything tastes good (I had a bite of everything just to make sure). Everything is in it's container ready to go out the door in the morning. I'm soooo tired. And now I'm so distraught! I just realized that my TV and clocks automatically set themselves forward an hour because it was supposed to be the beginning of daylight saving time today!!! I was ready to go to bed!!!! But it's not even 8 now!!!

On the weight front - I've been eating poorly this past week. Most days I was lucky to get in 1000 calories. I've been exercising poorly. Most days I only got in 30 minutes and there were at least 3 days when I got in zippo, nada, ziltch! I haven't eaten enough veggies. I haven't drank enough water. I haven't weighed so I'm curious to see how the lack of calories combined with the lack of exercise is going to effect my WI on Tuesday. But me being me, I'm going to be ticked off no matter what. I'm going to be ticked off if I maintain....because I didn't eat. I'm going to be ticked off if I gain....because I didn't eat. And I'm going to be ticked off if I lose....because it would just prove that if I starve myself it can be done!! Of course, I think I'll get over being ticked off faster with option #3. :D

And some may wonder - why am I buying and baking so much tempting food when I'm trying to lose weight??? It's because I eat vicariously thought other people. It actually helps me stay away from certain food items that I might want if I can see others eating it. I always keep a bowl of candy on my desk for the other employees and I'm never tempted to eat any of it unless no one eats it (which hasn't happened yet!).

WI Eve

I'm dreading tomorrow. I've been OP all week, but as of this morning I am back to where I ended last week. AND ever since my last WI I have been losing and gaining the same .2 lbs. Needless to say I'm finding it hard to stay motivated. Note....I'm finding it hard to stay motivated does not mean I'm not still motivated!!!! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed but I'm not expecting anything as today was super hectic at work and that means that my calorie intake was very low which usually throws my metabolism into a tail spin.

On the non-diet front...

• The pollen count today was 5,499. Yes, that's correct - 5,499! My dark green car is yellow, my eyes are red and my runny nose is producing green snot. Did I mention that my sinus are backed up below my knees! Even my toes are hurting from the sinus pressure!!
  
• I have finished my bunny bags with the exception of threading the ribbon through the bag openings. One of them has it's little face on backwards (the ribbon for the bag should tie at the back of the bag - this one will tie in the front of the bag - think "bunny with hair ribbon!"). I'll give that one to J because she doesn't know if she's coming or going half the time so I'm sure she will develop a kinship with the backwards bunny!
  
• Tigerlilly Furbella suffered a Myocardial Infraction when her "starter" battery gave out, but she is much better now thanks to 2 new D batteries. So much for them telling me the batteries lasted for months and months!
  
• The ants on are the move. Yes, the weather is getting hot (I can't believe how hot it is getting already!!!). And when the weather gets hot (and dry) the ants make their way indoors. I came home from a long day at work to find the ants marching from the french doors in the dining room all the way into the kitchen. Of course that ticked me off because I was really looking forward to actually getting a chance to eat today and because of them I couldn't fix dinner!!! Or maybe I should say because of the ant spray I sprayed all over the floor I couldn't fix dinner. I sprayed so much that I'll be lucky if it's dry in the morning! As it is, my already runny eyes because of the pollen are now swollen shut because of the spray!!!

I'm hungry and I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed. :)

The "F" Word

That's right, it's time to talk about Farts! And don't even pretend that you don't fart. You may be good at holding in farts - more power to you! But the little gassy inmates sentenced for a stay in your intestines will make a prison break as soon as you relax so don't even think about going to sleep!!!

Why am I on the subject of farts? Because I was in great pain for two days this week with what I call "stomach farts". Stomach farts start in your stomach (duh) and set up camp because the gas takes the wrong fork in the road on its journey to the butt. It reached unbelievable proportions. The noise that my stomach made caused my co-workers to look up and ask "is that thunder?". Bending over was a risky situation because I never could tell when the movement would cause my roll of belly fat to push the gassy substance down for an ill-timed release (needless to say - there was a trail following me around as I wasn't all that eager to bend over to pick up anything I may have dropped if there was anyone around). When I had to pee I had to fight the urge to stand up and pee – because I knew as soon as I sat down on the toilet air would rush out of my anal opening (and there was no controlling the “noise level” that might ensue). I was coughing, opening and closing my desk drawers unnecessarily and generally talking much louder than normal with the sole purpose of covering up any noise that may be coming from my body.

Happily, I'm now all better. And I learned a lesson.... even if you're already getting in a good dose of fiber a day, don't decide to suddenly start eating multiple servings of Fiber One cereal in one fell swoop! You've got to build up to it!!!

It's Official

.2

This sucks!

To get dressed or to not get dressed...

It is now 3:05 and I'm still running around the house in my gown and robe! I did brush my teeth, but I haven't taken a shower, brushed my hair or put on makeup (what a pretty picture!). I had planned on going out an running errands but then I started working on cutting out the feet, hands, ears and all the circles for "paws" for my bunny bags. That lead me to testing out one to see what it was going to look like if I sew them all by hand. It took me 30 minutes alone just to sew up one bunny (this doesn't include the time it takes to cut the fabric or to make all the arms, feet and ears). (And I'll mention at this point - the bag I cut out was too small - or else everything else I'd cut out was too big so I'm going to have to re-cut a larger bag pattern.) So that lead me downstairs to where I thought my sewing machine was stored. It was down in the hall closet - the machine was on the floor, the peddle was up on the top shelf (why? I have no idea). Finding the sewing machine lead me to setting it up. Setting it up lead me to trying to figure out how to load the bobbin. Trying to figure out how to load the bobbin lead me to open up the cover only to have everything in there fall out - BEFORE I EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO SEE WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE BEFORE THE CONTRAPTION DECIDED TO MAKE LIKE DOMINO'S! That lead me to 30 minutes of frantically looking for the operational booklet (I never found it). So after another 30 minutes I finally got the bobbin back in where it belonged (with the thread on it that was on it in the first place - since I had that much trouble just trying to get the bobbin in place and since it actually matched the fabric that I was using I decided to stick with it). Then I needed to thread the machine. I threaded this way, then that way but no matter what I did I couldn't get the needle to move up and down when I pressed the peddle. I was able to get it to go up and down by manually turning the wheel. I've left everything set up downstairs - maybe tomorrow I'll feel like tackling it again but for now I'm totally fed up. At this point I'm just going to stick to my original plan of sewing the bags by hand. If I were only 20 years younger I bet I could remember what I'd learned in the two years of sewing lessons my mother made me take!

Diet wise I'm hanging in there. I was up a couple of ounces this morning, but nothing like what I went through the week before last. I'm probably not going to have a huge loss this week but I'm pretty comfortable that I will lose at least a pound. (Which will officially put me at losing that elephant's penis that I've been aiming for as a short term goal!).

Now I'm off for that shower so that I can at least do something productive today. :)

By the way - my kitty is officially named......

Tigerlily Furbella

It's time for me to see a shrink!

Good news. :( I lost 3.6 this past week. That is in fact good news, yet I'm not excited about it. I really was hoping to make up for the gain last week - in other words I really wanted to lose at least 5 lbs this past week. It was not to be and I should be grateful for the loss. I'm not grateful yet, but I'm sure the next time I have a small gain or an even smaller loss I will remember what an ungrateful bitch I was today and I will say thank goodness for that 3.6 lb loss! I think I need a shrink because I can't help comparing my loses with everyone else! I know that everyone loses at different rates. I know that my medication for the Graves Disease has slowed down my thyroid to an all time low so it's going to be harder for me to lose. And I know that it's not good to lose weight too fast anyway. But bottom line - I want the numbers to go down, and down fast!!!!

Food wise - I met a friend for dinner tonight. It was planned. And in my planning I knew that I would go over my maximum calorie limit today. I rode the bike for a full hour this morning to help offset some of the extra calories. I did 30 minutes of Kick Boxing when I got home to help burn even more of the extra calories. And (this is a biggie) I got in my 10,000 steps today!! And I just plugged in everything I ate today in my FitDay journal...

I only consumed 1340 calories!!!

So I didn't go over my 1500 max limit!!! Yeah me!!!!

Now I have to go name my cat. I never got around to spending my $100 from my last pity party (gosh, I'm getting good about pity parties) so tonight I bought myself a silly, tacky, stupid _______ (fill in your own adjective) gift. I love animals, but it wouldn't be fair to have a pet since I work so much and I live in a townhouse so I don't have a proper yard. Tonight I found one of those stuffed cats - you know the ones that from a distance actually looks like a cat but once you get close to it...well it looks like a stuffed animal. But this one had a twist (at least I had never seen it before) - it's little side goes up and down like she's breathing! I got the little orange Tabby and when she breaths it makes her stripes move - and you can see it even from across the room!!! I actually wanted the Golden Retriever puppy but they didn't have one in a box and I wanted the whole shebang! And now that I've seen the website I think I want one of the little Pugs or the Chihuahua's so I may end up spending my whole $100 on perfectpetzzzz's.

If you wanna see my little kitty go to Perfect Petzzz!

Hmmmm - I won't be buying another little tyke on-line. I only paid $28 for my little tabby. She must have been the runt of the litter. LOL

Get over it!

I'm done sulking (this time anyway). I ended last week with a gain. It was a small gain (.2) but I resented the crap out of it since I'd worked so hard. But it could have been worse because the day before WI, I was actually up 2.4 lbs! This week has been pretty much more of the same. I did finally lose 2 whole lbs. But then yesterday I had gained all of it back except .2 - what is it with the .2???

Total lost in February was a measly old 6.2 lbs. The good news - even with the gain and with the overall (in my opinion) small February loss I stuck with my program!

Now this is pathetic...There is a girl at work. 5'9" tall. She weighs maybe 125 lbs but that would be stretching it to the max! She thinks she is overweight and she wants to lose 10 lbs. I don't have a problem with that. I may not agree but if she would be happier with herself losing 10 lbs so be it. So on Tuesday she came in with her SlimFast for breakfast & lunch and her carrots for a snack. For dinner she is still eating as she had in the past and she is still drinking her beer(s) nightly. Here comes the pathetic part.... Yesterday (Friday - 3 full days into her new diet plan!!) one of the other girls in the office said "WOW! I can tell you've already lost weight!!!" WTF???!!! I've lost 55 lbs and no one has noticed a thing, yet this skinny little twit can be on what amounts to probably a 1800-2000 calorie diet with no exercise and in 3 days people can tell a difference??? Oh how unfair can life be! :P

The good news is that it got me out of my funk and I'm mentally back into the battle!

On the 5th day...

Still up. :( But what really gets me is that for the second month in a row I'm not going to hit my monthly 10 lb loss goal - which means that I'm probably not going to reach the goal I set for October (niece's wedding).

On the good news side, I ate according to plan yesterday and I couldn't find anything that I really wanted to buy yesterday so I'm still $100 richer. I checked out another DVD at the library yesterday (this one is a boot camp kick boxing DVD) and did 40 minutes of it, along with 30 minutes of the yoga DVD and 30 minutes on the bike. So I can at least honestly say that I'm not losing because I'm not trying! So far today I've had 40 oz of water, an apple and a cup of milk. I've done 20 minutes of kickboxing and cleaned the kitchen. Now I'm going to work on some stuff that I brought home from work. Then I'll exercise some more and have a piece of the whole wheat pizza with veggies and ff parmasian cheese on it that I made (and froze) two weeks ago.

Saturday Setback Surmount

For the 4th day in a row the scales are showing a gain for me. I really hoped that when I woke up this morning and stepped on the scale I would at least be back down to my official beginning weekly weigh-in weight but it wasn't to be. In the past (and I have to admit even last night) my thoughts would have turned to comfort food - if I'm going to gain then I should at least get the satisfaction of eating something "bad". And by now I would have been planning on what food I was going to indulge in. But I got up this morning and I've decided to comfort myself in some other way - a way that doesn't involve food. I'm going to exchange one bad habit for another bad habit....I'm going to go buy myself a non-edible present! I'm going to limit myself to $100, but I'm hitting the buy road!

As far as my weekly goals go I'm not doing great, but I'm not doing too badly either.

• Meds - I've taken my meds every day (which could explain the gain since it is a anti-thyroid medication)
• Exercise - I'm still getting in my 1 hour a day and not all of it was on the stationary bike (but honestly I still need to get off the bike more!). I checked out a yoga DVD from the library and includes 2 different levels for the different poses so I'm able to pick the level that works best for my decrepit body. And I purchased a cardio DVD from Walmart - it has 3 people doing the exercises at different levels so again I'm able to pick the one that works best for me.
• Diet - I've done much better on the eating out this week. My original goal at the beginning of the year was to limit myself to eating out no more than 2 times per week and I've only eaten out once this week.

Now I'm off to spend money!